Pirates of the Capitalist Caribbean

by C. A. Matthews

Yo-ho-ho, me mateys! Come one, come all to this not-so-new movie sensation! It’s Pirates of the Capitalist Caribbean!

Starring Donnie Drip and Marco Ruin-It-All, with cameo performances by J.D. (Juvenile Delinquent) Vice, Pete Hogsbreath, Pam N. Bondage, and a special appearance by B.B. Satans-Yahoo.

In Pirates of the Capitalist Caribbean, you’ll find the story of a rich boy growing ever richer by pirating Venezuelan oil tankers daring to sail the seas along the Spanish Main while he simultaneously enacts a daring real estate grab in the Middle East with the help of a genocidal M.I.T. graduate.

You’ll laugh, you’ll cry (mostly), but worse of all, you’ll kiss hundreds of billions of US tax payers’ dollars good-bye in a vain attempt to shore up the fading petrodollar by denying BRICS nations the ability to do business in their own currencies—all the while funding and arming one of the worst genocides of all time.

Pirates of the Capitalist Caribbean is an economic thrill-a-minute ride with a “will-he-or-won’t-he?” vibe as you witness the witless Donnie spill his frijoles by threatening to download his idea of “democracy” onto a socialist republic that is infinitely more democratic than his own...

 

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